Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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