It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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