no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
