First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
