she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
