The maid of honor just puked.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
