I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
