I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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