I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
