I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
