He had one of those small greek statue penises
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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