i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
