I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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