my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
