clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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