Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
