Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
