I CAN MOONWALK!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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