I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
