Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
