It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
