Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
