his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need water and some morals
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
