You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
