Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
