I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
