Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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