Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
