im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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