This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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