how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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