id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
