angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
