did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
