The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
