i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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