The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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