before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
