No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
