You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think I sprained my soul last night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
