Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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