I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
