Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
