I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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