Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
