I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This baby is an asshole
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
