do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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