the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
