from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
