So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
