I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
