if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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