So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
