They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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