There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
