Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
